fuck your aforementioned shoe
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
