Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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