remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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