Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
