Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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