I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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