I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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