So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
