haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
