I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
