I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
