This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
