my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
