youre lurking in front of me
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
