so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
