I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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