the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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