Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm at about main and main street
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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