Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
