ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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