No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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