some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Randomize
