Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
