If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
