i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize