I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize