Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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