also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
