I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize