Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
