He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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