Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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