Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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