my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
