i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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