Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
