I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We have so much sex to catch up on
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
