Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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