in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
