Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
