i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
