i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
