so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
