ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
