I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
