yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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