I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize