If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize