u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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