ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
