Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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