Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
