im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize