So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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