I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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