I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
