I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
