I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
