Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
