I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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